Evil Elmo Terrorizes San Francisco

Evil Elmo Wanted Dead or Alive poster

There is a great "menace" that is threatening all we hold dear to our hearts and cherish in a civilized society, ...and that menace's name is "Evil Elmo."

SEE:  'Evil Elmo' Takes Pictures, Screams Obscenities   It seems there is some lunatic running loose in an Elmo costume, and he has been going around acting not exactly like Elmo.  And this dude has a really "sordid" paste.  Well, I better not go into it here, in too great a detail, but basically he decided to morph into this "Evil Elmo" super villain because of a vendetta against American women ("I hate those b*tches. They're out of line." SEE: Evil Elmo's Sordid Past), and because of some bitterness resulting from him getting fired from his job with the Girl Scouts.  But don't worry...he only started working for the Girl Scouts after he got deported from Cambodia for running a pornographic website called "Rape Camp."

Yes, it all sounds like the plot of a really bad episode of "21 Jump Street."  And to make matters more ridiculous this "Evil Elmo" super villain's name is Adam Sandler.

comedian Adam Sandler in "Funny People"

No, not this Adam Sandler.  This Evil Elmo guy had his name legally changed to "Adam Sandler" after he got kicked out of Cambodia,  though perhaps you will think he should have changed his name to Hitler, once you see him in action.  His reign of terror began in New York, and is documented by the youtube videos you will see below...






So, long story short, no one would tell Evil Elmo how to get to Sesame Street, so he headed off to San Francisco...


And here is the most important "Evil Elmo" video of all...  a poem by our own Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves, about Evil Elmo:






And as we often do we will end with SONG OF THE DAY, which is a classic by the legendary Adam Sandler...

Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.

Stay classy, Chicago!