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Abigael got sick to death of hearing about "Bronco Bamma" and Mitt Romney |
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Bad Luck Brian |
Anywho, our very own JimmyFungus.com endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. broached a very good idea to me today. Why not introduce a constitutional amendment outlawing the use of ANY money in politics? "The Constitution should provide that each candidate be dropped on a deserted island with nothing but a laptop computer, and a pencil bag full of magic markers to get their message out to the voters. Let them all duke it out in this fashion, and the best man, woman, or transgender person will certainly emerge victorious!" Abraham told me in a private conversation (well, it's not private anymore). Though honesty compels me to report that Abraham Fungus Jr. would probably not excel in such a brutal competition. He even forgot to register to vote, and could not even vote for himself. But as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say, "That is neither here nor there."
So, it seems that the winner of last night's election is not Bronco Obamma, or even the American people for that matter. The true winner is ME, because I get bragging rights on predicting exactly what was going to happen almost a full 2 months ago. SEE: Obama Will Win: I personally guarantee an election victory for President Obama
Yup, an endless parade of over-paid pundits (Karl Rove, Dick Morris, George F. Will) all wear the dunce cap today, but not the honorable James Earl Fungus I.
It is no wonder so many important people read JimmyFungus.com!
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President Obama at the computer |
Anyway, I had to make an exciting youtube video celebrating my very awesome, and successful prediction, so please check it out below, because it is also awesome...
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Darth Vader for president poster? (I don't know what this is. I found it on the internets.) |
There are winners...and there's losers...but that ain't no big deal... as the legendary John Mellencamp once sang.
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Darth Vader "Epic Fail" poster (found on the internets) |
And there definitely were some losers last night, and those losers are the Republicans, and the Republican party. But cheer up you losers, because I made you your own youtube video too!
It's a compilation of "Best Epic Fails." Check it out below...
Ok. Stay tuned, true believers, because I'll be back soon, with more post-election updates, and coverage of these developing stories.
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Stay classy, Chicago!