this guy from "Italian Spiderman" reacts to a sloth gif (created by some unknown genius)
I hate when that happens. Welp, anyway... many of Miley Cyrus' long time fans reacted the same way this guy from the Italian Spiderman movie did, when they caught a glimpse of her new video. (SEE: Miley Cyrus "We Can't Stop" )
Miley Cyrus "OH GOD WHY" twerk gif
Ahhh...to paraphrase Ned Flanders "dang diddily do dang do damn diddily darn it" I am just going to post the Miley Cyrus video for those of you who haven't seen it yet. But don't use up all your precious energies on watching it, because today's post has barely just begun. So hang onto your potatoes kids, because we're just getting started. Anywho, here's the dagnab video...
Yeah. Well. This Miley vid is described as "interesting" by some, and in terms that are less complimentary by others. I would characterize the reviews so far as "mixed."
As you can plainly hear, it's a controversial new anthem that sings the praises of partying very hard.
Homer Simpson PARTY HARD gif
It doesn't mention any of the things that can go wrong when one "parties down" without considering the consequences...
"DAMMIT FRANK. KEEP IT TOGETHER" giraffe meme (from the internets)
That's not what the song is about I guess. However, a certain man (Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves, the roving entertainment reporter and official poet laureate of JimmyFungus.com) was happy to moralize regarding the message of "We Can't Stop", and the ramifications of the type of behavior it is promoting. Welpers, just watch Lord Throckmorton's video down below (or attempt to anyway). The title of this video is "We Want the Old Miley Cyrus Back!"
an exciting new William Shatner meme or gif, or whatever ya wanna call it
O.k. whatever. I am just going to jump into our next topic now, which is the issue of these dueling "Bohemian Rhapsodies"...
You see, for some inexplicable reason I can't begin to articulate, I was inspired to create a "The Big Lebowski" version of this classic Queen song. The results are available for your viewing pleasure down below...
(UPDATE 9/3/2013: I deleted the video when I was in a bad mood.)
And for awhile, I thought it was one of the best dang versions of "Bohemian Rhapsody" that had ever been created.
"YEAH, WELL THAT'S JUST LIKE, YOUR OPINION, MAN" Big Lebowski meme (from the internets)
Then I caught wind of the Willliam Shatner version, which is a masterpiece.
Truly, a masterpiece.
But anyway, it only has about a million views on the youtube. I think it deserves at least about 100 gorillion more. So, why don't you do your fair part in trying to accumulate that number by watching it below...
And NOW just a couple more topics which we shall briefly discuss...
the thrilling OVERLORD MANATEE meme (from the internets)
I made another exciting video at my youtube channel, which is called "When Manatees Attack." And yeah. It's really exciting.
RON BURGUNDY: HE'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL meme (new and improved version)
Just one more thing. Since "Anchorman 2" starring Will Ferrell (and most of the original cast) will be coming out EVENTUALLY, I have taken it upon myself to make a video which is a new and improved version of the scene in which Ron Burgundy utters the famous phrase, "I'm kind of a big deal." The title of this new video is "Ron Burgundy: "I'm kind of a big deal" (NEW & IMPROVED VERSION)." (update 9/3/2013: I deleted the video when I was in a bad mood.)
With that...our journey for today ends. Once again God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Homer Simpson voting in the 2012 election for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney? (via The Simpsons)
Coming up on November whatever is the exciting American presidential election.
And America will attempt to make a decision which will hopefully move the country forward...
George Washington driving a Dodge in "Freedom" World Cup commercial (via lillianjessica.tumblr)
Most of the "experts" in the media have President Obama comfortably leading the challenger Mitt Romney, with his reelection chances looking quite good. Yes, the president is being portrayed as one major badass, and a pretty smooth dude...at least for now.
"Sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate..." President Obama too busy killing Osama bin Laden for FOX news.
You see... all hell broke loose, when a supposedly secretly taped video of Romney characterizing "47%" of the American public, in a way that was...not so nice. His comments are being interpreted by many, including some on his side of the political spectrum, as an indication that he is out of touch...that he views almost half the American people in the same way Mr. Burns on FOX's "The Simpsons" would view them (as boneheaded slackers looking for a handout).
"THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" meme ~ Ron Burgundy/Will Ferrell
Whether the Romney in the video tape, was the real Mitt Romney, or whether he was just telling some wealthy donors what they wanted to hear, is hard to say. But after the fallout from this vid, Mitt Romney is discovering that "shit happens" even to famous rich guys...
Randy Marsha of "South Park"..."SHIT HAPPENS." (newly invented meme)
So how can Mitt Romney change the course of his campaign at this late stage?
Randy Marsh of "South Park" CHANGE poster (created by an unknown genius)
So, what advice can I, James Earl Fungus I, offer to Republican nominee Mitt Romney (because I know he is wondering what I think)?
If I could go back in a time machine, I would tell him to never say anything in private he would not want to be heard saying in public...
the "STOP SAYING WORDS" llama
But it is too late for that, then isn't it?
So, the questions is...what can be done right NOW?
Well, I think the only hope is for Mitt to somehow miraculously transform his image from an elitist, snobby rich guy, to a laid back, quasi-compassionate, man of the people. Show us he can hob-knob with average Joe Bagadonuts American. Show us he has a sense of humor.
"I HAD FUN ONCE AND IT WAS AWFUL." ~ Mitt Romney version
Mitt needs to let loose and have some fun. Maybe even do something crazy, like let the family dog ride in the front seat of the car, instead of on the roof.
Other than that, I don't know what Mitt Romney can do. He has pretty much screwed himself by opening his big mouth at the fundraiser with those hoighty-toighty rich donors.
Oh well. Now for something, a little bit different...
Also, coming out in November is "Lincoln" directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln. I am really looking forward to this movie, so I figured today, instead of ending with the Song of the Day, we will end with the movie trailer of the day. So without further ado, here it is...
Once again, true believers, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
As an American voter, if you are feeling a bit dazed and confused regarding the political process, you are not alone, friends... you are not alone. All the negative campaigning, and mudslinging, has left most of us in a rather bewildered, and apathetic state, wondering just what happened to all those promises of hope and change.
Well, let me cut through all the crap for you, because the corporate run anti-Rebecca Black media, will spin things to help whichever candidate their bosses are happening to support.... Well, here's the truth: President Obama is ahead at the moment, and the Romney campaign knows it. (DISCLAIMER: That doesn't mean things will stay this way till the election.) Romney chose Paul Ryan for much the same reason that John McCain chose Sarah Palin. His advisers knew he was behind, and he needed to do something dramatic to change the dynamic of the campaign. Romney chose Ryan to light a fire under the Republican base. If the Romney campaign believed they were ahead, they would have chosen a running mate with more centrist views,...a safer pick.
If you listen to Obama's recent speeches, he also know's he's ahead. At a fundraiser (SEE: Obama fundraises with help of his NBA buddies) Obama compared the current position of his campaign to having a small lead in the 4th quarter of a basketball game... "But the other side is coming strong, And they play a little dirty. We've got a few folks on our team in foul trouble. We have a couple of injuries. And I believe they have one last run in them."
"Every day I'm rustlin'," Badass Barack Obama.
Play dirty?? With these crazy super PACs, there is no limit to the amount of negative attacks that can be hurled against an opponent. So in the waning days of the campaign, expect to see the most brutal attacks an advertising executive could possibly devise.
Enter the Fuhrer...
"Before I was a Nazi leader, I was a Nazi reader..." (via forever-delayed.tumblr and The Simpsons)
It is needles to say, a slam dunk way to win an election is to successfully link your opponent to Adolph Hitler. Check out the video below to see exactly what I am talking about...
The plot thickens...
My Brief Thoughts on "The Hunger Games"
"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" Will Ferrell in "Zoolander" (via aboutaseven.tumblr)
Now that "The Hunger Games" is out on video, I thought I would bring this up....
Am I on crazy pills or am I the only person who has noticed the uncanny resemblance between Claudius Templesmith, and the Will Ferrell character in "Zoolander"???
Will Ferrell in "Zoolander", and Claudius Templesmith
Is that completely insane or what?
Caesar Flickerman: "I LOVE THAT!" (via gifawesomeness.tumblr)
Caesar Flickerman may love it, but I'm more like...
"DUDE WHAT?" Carl Sagan
Yeah...more like that.
I Invent Fung Fu
I believe this is how it went down, I had just watched Bersercules' new video at http://youtube.com/Bersercules, and then I went over to http://raviolisandwaterworks.com to read Jax's latest article Life: Bethany Beach (or maybe it was the other way around?) in which Jax posed the question, "How do you force yourself to relax when your life is so hectic?" It was at this moment I had an epiphany and invented my own Jimmy Fungus version of Kung Fu called "Fung Fu", which is all about how I lead such an agonizingly pitiful, and pointless existence without completely losing my mind. So like I said, I don't know who to give the credit to (be it Jax or Bersercules) for inspiring me to invent Fung Fu so I will just give them both credit.
But I don't have time to go in great deal about Fung Fu right now, because I want to talk about this...
Joan Jett and Suzi Quatro: The Tale of Two Songs
As fate would have it, I came across this great song by Joan Jett "Do You Wanna Touch Me" (which is actually a cover version, but that's o.k.) because it is on the soundtrack for the movie "Dirty Girl" starring Juno Temple. Check it out below...
And being that Joan Jett was the legendary Suzi Quatro's biggest fan, I was inspired to create my newest youtube video....
As you may or may not know, Suzi Quatro was a huge pop star in the seventies, and she also played a character on the show "Happy Days" named Leather Tuscadero. On this episode Happy Days Richie Almost Dies Part 2, Suzi performs an extremely rare, but extremely awesome song... So rare, in fact, I don't even know what the title is, or was. It seems that it was only written for this episode of "Happy Days", and isn't available anywhere, (at least in very good quality). It is available on the episode of "Happy Days" posted on youtube, but you have to watch the entire show to get to it.
I created a video with only the song. It starts out with Suzi Quatro playing Leather Tuscadero on the episode of "Happy Days." Unfortunately in the original, the camera pans away from Suzi Quatro almost right away, and shows you a montage of what are supposed to be tear-jerking scenes of Richie Cunningham. Sorry, Richie...you aren't the special one here...Suzi is. So I edited all that crap out. Anyway, being it is so rare and more Suzi Quatro fans would probably love to be able to hear this song finally, hopefully there won't be any problems...
lyrics:
Won't you take your strength...from your friends. Know they love you so. Oh no, they won't let you down. Come and open your heart, see you're not alone. You'll soon be home. Home again with those laughing eyes. So believe, have faith, in the world and all your friends. Just like we believe in you. You can...take your time. You gotta keep on tryin'! 'cuz we need your smile, to brighten up our day. Don't go away.
"Damn it feels good to be a gangsta." meme - Carl Sagan version
In America, Thursday used to be known as the day "The Cosby Show" was on. Not anymore, because my Thursday started out pretty good, because Catherine, ex oh mwah! of Rainbows and unicorns. actually listened to one of my suggestions for a blog post, and wrote up this How To Create Cutting Comebacks ...A little masterpiece, which will no doubt one day be framed and proudly displayed at the Abraham Fungus Jr. Presidential Library...or perhaps even the Jimmy Fungusonian Institute for the Arts (if I ever obtain funding for that). Catherine is one of the most talented up and coming bloggers on the blogging circuit, so you should probably go ahead and start kissing her rear-end now, before she becomes world famous. Anywho, on with our story...
"Six Pack" by Gifted But Twisted (what the hell is going on in this music video??)
"Six Pack" by Gifted But Twisted gif
Gladly or sadly, I came across an interesting new rap video made by a "4 piece hip-hop band from Maine." Being that Maine has always had the reputation for being the hip-hop capital of the world, I decided to check out this new video for myself. And...here it is...
new "Chloe Moretz: WHAT?" meme (found on the interwebs)
If you are saying "WHAT?" you are not alone. Whether the video is for real, whether it's a joke, or a cruel hoax masterminded by the Communist Liberation Front party of Albania to undermine the youth of America, is being debated. Not that anyone asked, but I will tell you exactly what I think: The lead "singer"'s rapping skills are mediocre at best. But he definitely has the bling and swag down. Enough so, that I would say he is probably one of the leading gangsta rappers in the New England area, not to mention parts of Canada. He also has one other thing going for him. He looks like the character Jimbo Jones, from the Simpsons...
Jimbo Jones via The Simpsons
However, if I do not sound more enthusiastic about this new talent calling themselves "Gifted But Twisted", I might be kind of biased. This video brings back some bad memories, from a troubling time in my life. This time is sometimes called "the 1990s". I would often be up late with insomnia, and the only thing on the tube would be hip-hop videos on MTV2. A nightly diet of gangsta rap videos were steadily being thrust down my brain canal. You know what's depressing? A guy like me watching those videos, can only have the lobes of their mind veer into but 2 directions: 1.) the grasping of the cold reality that I will never ever be cool enough to hang out with Jay-Z (of which these thoughts can quickly turn into suicidal depression), or 2.) self-delusion, as in, convincing myself that YES, one day I will be as cool and wealthy as Jay-Z, so just grin and bare it in the meantime (which is not healthy, because it is a total lie, and holding on to such pipe dreams will just lead to certain failure, and destruction).
Then there was the less than idealistic message these videos were sending our young people. "Six Pack" by Gifted But Twisted may be fairly "fun loving" in comparison to others in the genre, but anyway, that segues us into our next segment...
The Decline of our Western Civilization: (there must be something that can be done)
What happened to the values (we once held in high regard) of humility, meekness, and caring for, and sharing with our less fortunate brothers and sisters? The values that were taught to us by Oblio, the round headed boy born in the Land of Point, and Michael J. Fox's parents on reruns of "Family Ties." It seems we are simply throwing those values away...
Throwing away our environment, and disrespecting the wildlife which abides there.
Incredible Hulk throws bear gif (via the internets)
Throwing away everything.
Legend of Zelda "F--- everything!" gif (via iamyc.tumblr)
GOD HELP US ALL!
Will Ferrell "HELP ME TOM CRUISE" gif (via ladiesdontstartfights.tumblr)
What can be done?
Well...I think Gorilla Bananas stumbled upon the answer in his post Code pink. about incarcerating criminals in pink cells in order to "curb their aggressive impulses." When I assume command, the first thing I will do, is have Leo Sayer music blaring on loud speakers in all public arenas, until people start acting nice again.
The second thing I will do, is dispatch a team of my most loyal knights to pass out Happy Balloons to everyone...
Andy Milonakis passing out "Happy Ballons" gif (via alecziscute.tumblr )
One More Thing
And now announcing an entirely new segment...called "One More Thing." I call it "One More Thing", because it is the segment where I talk about just one more thing...and that is all. Anyway, I just wanted to post the picture of this sasquatch lookin' creature I saw in Bersercules' recent video review Thundarr the Barbarian episode two review . Just because I think he's kinda cool...and when in the world am I going to get around to posting it again??? Am I right?? Am i right??
sasquatch lookin' guy (just because he's kinda cool)
That will end our experience today.
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
"Double Take" is comprised of Lauren Willey and Drew Garrett. When this tandem first strutted their stuff onto the world stage, most of us did not know what to make of them. Why would they make such a ridiculously bad video? Were they insane? Were they "gooped up on gop"?
Well, it seems we now have the answer. Lauren and Drew are not crazy OR on drugs...they are comediennes! Not only that, they have made a new video called "Like a Princess" (treat me like a princess, and call me by my name...put me on a pedestal, and soak up all my fame) which you can easily watch by staring at the youtube player below this paragraph:
...and if that were not exciting enough, the two have decided to run for president of the United States together...to be co-presidents...a dual presidency, if you will. SEE: Lauren and Drew 2012.
Double Take is comprised of Lauren Willey and Drew Garrett (the Hall and Oates of our generation)
If Funguzz Vizzion endorsed presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. is not elected (see Abraham Fungus Jr.'s Greatest Speeches) then I for one hope these lovely girls are the ones who ascend to the oval office. For not only do I think it would be great for the country, but this presidential election business is a great segue into our next segment...our first ever episode of "Who is it??"
Mitt Romney's 2012 Running Mate: Who is it????
Now that we know that without a shade of the shadow(<---redundant) of doubtfullness (that's not a word, is it?), Mitt Romney will be the candidate for president of the United States of America on the Republican side of the aisle....it is time to start considering some probable possibilities for his vice presidential running mate. So, I will just go through a lengthy laundry list of possible candidates, and hope by some miracle of heaven to stumble upon the human he actually chooses. (Oh yeah. You are supposed to play the Talking Heads song, so you have a delightful soundtrack to listen to while you are considering the options.)
Alright... without further ado...here is the list of possible candidates to be Mitt Romney's vice presidential running mate in 2012:
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris classroom gif
Chuck Norris is quite possibly the most popular Republican in the country. He is tough, strong on national defense, and an all around badass. What he lacks in knowledge he can make up for in intimidation (as in intimidating reporters into not asking him tough questions).
Benny Hinn
Benny Hinn suit jacket exorcism gif
It may be shamelessly throwing a bone to the Christian right, if Mitt Romney chose Benny Hinn to be his running mate... but on the up side, Benny has the best suits around.
Atheist Cat
Atheist Cat: he finds prayer futile
But on the other side of the coin, Romney may want to shed the image of the Republican party as being too hyper religious, and go in the exact opposite direction, by choosing Atheist Cat. Though I don't know if this approach would work.
Boxxy
Boxxy aka Catie Wayne and Vladimir Putin pic (found on the internets)
Then there is Boxxy. She is no doubt lovable, and could soften up the gruff image of the GOP as a bunch of wealthy, money-grubbing meanies. But the bad part is she would have less time for making youtube videos.
The "Brilliant" Guy
The "Brilliant" Guy smoking a cigar
Then there is the "Brilliant" Guy. He may be a bit too much of a "YES man." But sometimes that's what you want in a Vice President.
President Romney: I think I am going to cut taxes for the wealthy.
Vice President The Brilliant Guy: BRILLIANT!
HERO CABBIE
"I kicked burning terrorist so hard in the balls that I tore a tendon in my foot."- DAILY RECORD
HERO CABBIE has his up side, and his down side as a vice presidential choice. The down side is he's not an American citizen. The up side is his record on terrorism is friggin' awesome!
Bad Luck Brian
what BAD LUCK BRIAN looks like today
I know what you are thinking..."Don't pick Bad Luck Brian! He will just bring the country bad luck!" Well, after living a privileged life perhaps a President Romney could benefit from the advice of an average American citizen... someone who has had their fair share of bad luck. Also, Brian is very photogenic.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Neil deGrasse Tyson gif (found on the internets)
There is so many positives with choosing astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson as a running mate. He is smart. He is a person of color. And the media would totally eat up all these wacky hand gestures he makes if he used them at a debate.
Brendon Chaney
Brendon Chaney: the boy who admits he threw a pinecone
Brendon Chaney. Constitutionally he may be too young to hold these offices... But on the up side, the vetting process would be quite simple (as the only thing Brendon has ever been proven to have done wrong as of yet, is throw a pinecone).
Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell portrait
Will Ferrell. He may not be a Republican technically, but at least in this pic he seems to have the look down.
Kim Jong il
Kim Jong il from "Team America"
Kim Jong il. The upside is he has many, many years of experience at running a country. The down side is he is very unpopular. Also, he is dead.
Mister Rogers
Mr. Rogers: "Don't make me shove this shoe up you ass" meme (found on the internets)
Mr. Rogers. Upside...he like Ronald Reagan can be tough, but yet cuddly and likable at the same time. Downside...he passed away some time ago.
Giorgio A. Tsoukalos
aliens expert Giorgio Tsoukalos
Giorgio Tsoukalos. Who better to keep aliens out of the United States (a key issue with the Republican base)? The down side... his hair is completely insane.
Charlie Sheen Brown
(pic created by some unknown genius)
Picking Charlie Sheen as V.P. running mate would add some pizzazz to what would otherwise be a dull ticket. But Sheen's negative polling is very high... which could be counter-acted by turning him into a cartoon character. Well whatever...still a more logical choice than Sarah Palin.
Jeff Goldblum and a monkey
Jeff Goldblum with a monkey
As the Double Take girls have proven, dual presidencies, and dual vice-presidencies are a definite possibility (as long as you have the right justices on the Supreme Court *wink wink*). Jeff Goldblum looks very dignified in this pic (some might even say "presidential"). And having a monkey be a candidate for co-vice president would keep some of the far left animal rights activists planning on throwing protests at the Republican convention, at bay for awhile. Plus everyone likes monkeys, and most people like Jeff Goldblum. It's a win win.
The Girl Who Wears a Cat for a Hat
a picture of the girl who wears a cat for a hat (found on the internets)
Now I have got to admit the girl who wears a cat for a hat would be an absolute last resort to turn to as far as a choice to be Mitt Romney's running mate. The upside is she's a woman, which may appeal to female voters. The down side is she wears a cat for a hat. But on the outside chance that none of the other candidates I mentioned are chosen... then the Republican party will have no choice. She will be the "final answer" as Regis Philbin once said. The Republicans will have to nominate the girl who wears a cat for a hat.
My goodness. We certainly have accomplished a lot in today's entry. I do believe this is the perfect place to stop the show for today.
Once again, God bless you... and remember to support your local zoo.
