Sarah Silverman "The Next Milk" (A brand new episode of GREATEST SPEECHES EVER starring Sarah Silverman), and also, a list of the lesser known presidential candidates

The Rock driving meme

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

 (created by some unknown genius)

Yup, you guessed it. It's time for another exciting episode of GREATEST SPEECHES EVER...

starring Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman and the cast of the Sarah Silverman Program

and the title of this GREAT SPEECH is "The New Milk" from an episode from the second season of the Sarah Silverman Program called "Joan of Arf."  To make a long story short, basically Sarah is on trial for bestiality, and needs to give the greatest speech of her life, or she'll be going off to the big house for a very long time...

The Sarah Silverman Program
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"I'm not a monster, I'm just a curious eccentric...like Albert Einstein, or Sigmund Freud, or Charles Woolery...


Ladies and gentleman, I appeal to you to think of the first man to ever drink milk from the teat of a cow. I bet he got a lot of flack too. But look at him now... he's a genius, isn't he? Now I didn't drink from my dog's anus,...but who's to say that I couldn't have found the next milk. The next milk could have been in my dog's anus! It turns out it wasn't. If there's an opposite of milk though, I think I may have found that. I challenge you...each and every one of you to go out there, and find the next milk. Whether it be in a cat's ear, or a dolphin's blowhole, or a monster's nose. But if you think it's wrong...if you think the curious should be condemned...well, I'm afraid we'll never find the next milk. And that's sad. I'm done. I'm finished." - Sarah Silverman 


and now for something completely different...


A BONA FIDE LIST OF THE LESSER KNOWN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

I know it's hard to believe, but Abraham Fungus Jr. isn't the only person running for president of the United States of America today. You do have some other options if you are a registered for voting American citizen person. So, without further ado, here are some of the lesser known candidates for the presidency of the United States of America...

Lobsterman of the Crustacian Liberation Political Party

Well, I'm not completely sure that Lobsterman is running again this time around, and I had no idea how to contact Lobsterman to ask him this.  Honestly, he looks kind of intimidating, so ok..I was afraid to ask him.  Alright.  I was too scared to ask him.  Ok, are you happy now?

ANONYMOUS 2012

Once again, we are in danger of being forced to make a choice between 2 candidates, who if elected, are going to do pretty much the same darn things.    The major political parties laugh at us, the average citizen, "HAHAHA", as they abuse their power to enrich themselves.  How much longer will we sit on our rusty dusties and put up with this?

VOTE FOR NOBODY

Then there is the classic choice "none of the above."  If a candidate legally changes their name to "none of the above" or "nobody" they might actually win.

Vermin Supreme for President of the United States via gridviper.com

And then there's this dude...



Part of Vermin Supreme's platform is "zombie preparedness" which shows he at least has enough brains to anticipate our next candidate...

Zombie Nixon for president via zombiepresidents.com

Let's face it, as disastrously as the Nixon presidency ended with the Watergate scandal, "Tricky Dick" still looks like a genius compared to some of the leaders we currently have in charge of our nation.  So why not find a way to re-animate his corpse, and put Richard Nixon back in the White House?  The Constitution of the United States doesn't specifically prohibit zombie presidencies, so I think this could actually work.


SONG OF THE DAY

And that leads us to our song of the day...

Russian Doll Situation

After our list of lesser known presidential candidates, I thought it would be fitting to give a chance to a lesser known band called Russian Doll situation with a lesser known song... Yes someone, actually made a song called "Zombie Nixon." Cool, huh?  SEE: ZOMBIE NIXON by Russian Doll Situation

Richard Nixon "WIN."

Welpers...that ends yet another intersting, and life enriching post at Funguzz Vizzion aka http://jimmyfungus.com .  Once again, God bless you, and thank you for your support.

The Sarah Silverman Program (Part 2)

This is the second installment I am writing on the Sarah Silverman Program which recently came out on DVD, and let me tell ya,...this show is not only brilliant because of Sarah, but the cast, and guest stars are also extremely talented actors and comedians. Sarah Silverman deserves a lot of credit for bringing these uniquely gifted people to our attention, and giving them an opportunity to shine. Ok, let's learn a little bit more...

Among this cast is Laura Silverman, Sarah's real life sister, who also plays her sister on the show. Check out the bonus materials for a song performed by Sarah and Laura, you will find that Laura is an outstanding singer, and she plays her character on the show very adorably, which is why the show is so watchable; you sense that these are people you would like to hang out with in real life (with the possible exception of Sarah's character).

Brian Posehn and Steve Agee play Sarah's next door neighbors and, well they're difficult to describe...imagine if you took Burt and Ernie from Sesame Street, and Lenny and Squiggy from "Laverne and Shirley", threw them in a blender, and then you took Kramer from "Seinfeld" and Jammed them in the blender with the Jeffersons, I mean George and Weezy...and then imagine you switched on the blender... Well, what I am trying to say is they are among the funniest next door neighbors in TV history.

Laura Marano, who has appeared on "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?", and in the movie "The Jacket", has played Sarah's long lost daughter in the episode "Not Without My Daughter", as well as having a recurring role as the child version of Sarah Silverman in flashbacks of Sarah's childhood. Marano is another amazingly multi-talented member of the cast as she proves in the "Not Without My Daughter" episode which is reminicent of "Little Miss Sunshine." Sarah coaches the little version of Sarah, and in one scene teaches her to sing the "Poop Song." "It was brown and filled with raisins and we flushed it for these reasons...this is a Poop Song...this a Poop Song"

Other noteworthy performances have come from the zany and whimsical comedian Zach Galifianakis who played a homeless person Sarah temporarily rescued from the streets in the episode "Humanitarian of the Year", and Jay Johnston, who provides some occasional laughs as Officer Jay, Laura's boyfriend and a frequent target of Sarah's sadistic wit.

This is one of the best shows on television and is bursting with the kind of originality and creativity you don't see very often, so either watch it on Comedy Central, or RUN, don't walk to your local video store and rent it...

The Sarah Silverman Program (Part1)

Recently, on a trip to my local Lackluster Video, much to my glee I noticed they had the first season of the Sarah Silverman Program from Comedy Central on DVD. So being that I don't have cable and never have had the chance to see the program, I swiftly purchased it, got it home, unwrapped it, and dug in. Fortunately, I was not disappointed, as this Sarah Silverman show lived up to and in some cases exceeded my high expectations.

What you may be wondering is, in what ways does the Sarah Silverman of the tv show parallel the real Sarah Silverman? For example, on the show, Sarah and her sister are orphans who lost their parents at a very young age, and Sarah occasionally has flashbacks of what she does remember, a very abusive childhood. Is any of this based on reality, and where does Sarah's deadpan, ironical view of the universe come from? Well, I did some research to unravel this mystery and this is what I found:

tv.com relates the following biographical information regarding our new hero:
"Born to Jewish-American parents Donald and Beth Ann Silverman in Bedford, New Hampshire, she has three sisters. Silverman suffers from clinical depression, of which she has been very open about in interviews and her comedy."

So, hopefully, the aspects of the show regarding a tumultuous childhood and abusive parents were exaggerated. However, a line from the "Doody Song" from the "Officer Jay" episode that goes "I always take my pills with herbal tea" seems to be a reference to the battles with depression. Let's learn a little bit more...

Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia recounts this information: "Silverman is very open about her lifelong battle with clinical depression, crediting her freedom from attacks of emotional despair to her use of prescription Zoloft. She also says she doesn't want to have biological children to avoid the chance that they might inherit her depression."

www.allamericanspeakers.com/speakers/Sarah-Silverman sheds further light for us with some background on Sarah, as well as the following anecdotal information:
"A middle-class New Hampshire kid from a family with four daughters, Silverman is, yes, the class clown. She starts doing open-mike nights early. By age 17 she's playing the old Stitches next to the Paradise on Comm Ave. When she gets to NYU, she works every weekend for a year leafleting for New York's Boston Comedy Club on Macdougal Street, where many adventures ensue. On the corner with Sarah every weekend is a guy in a chicken suit working for the Pluck You all-night chicken stand. One night a bunch of drunken high-school guys start to hassle the chicken. The insults turn into a shoving match and suddenly, instinctively, Sarah's between the chicken and the thugs, telling the thugs to back off. "Believe me, in no way did I think I was being heroic or gallant. I just figured I'd be adorable and they'd stop." Instead, she gets cold-cocked -- boom, flat out cold on the sidewalk."

So, long story short, my research indicates that the controversial, yet hilarious comedienne that we all know and love was molded into the brilliant satirist and performance artist we see before us today, by three decisive factors: 1.) a possibly difficult childhood, 2.) a lifelong battle with clinical depression, and 3.) a vicious brouhaha in which she was injured defending a guy in a chicken suit from brawling drunken street thugs.

Well, this is an important issue and I fear I have barely scratched the surface, so stay tuned, this is only Part One of a series on Sarah Silverman and the Sarah Silverman Program.