If George Lucas taught me anything when I was a kid through the subliminal messages in his movies, it was to always keep my promises to my friends. So now in this edition of JimmyFungus.com I will do just that. In this post I follow through on a promise I made to Gorilla Bannanas at http://japingape.blogspot.com.
In the comments section, Gorilla Bananas wrote the following:
And I did sorta promise that we were going to have a vote. So, guess what? A vote is exactly what we are going to have! Though I am blogging a lot lately, and putting a lot of pressure on my regular commenters. Hopefully, someone will come by and vote besides me, because if I had the only vote that wouldn't really be fair (that's the way they do things in Soviet Russia). Hopefully Gorilla Bananas will come by too and vote to (but that would leave the voting in a tie). So, I will leave the voting open for awhile (how about until January 6, 2017?) so we get enough votes to have a decent "Hail Satan!" Face Off.
So in this corner we have...
Lord Picklejar
If you liked Lord Picklejar's "Hail Satan!"'s better, type "Thumbs up!"
Chloe Moretz thumbs up gif
If you didn't like the Lord Picklejar video type "No"
Boxxy "No" gif
And in this corner we have...
This Guy
this guy
If you liked this guy's "Hail Satan!" better type "EPIC WIN!"
EPIC WIN baby
Or if you didn't like his "Hail Satan!" type "GTFO!"
brand newly invented by me Bill Nye GTFO! meme
Ok, then. That shouldn't be too complicated. Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
The new Batman movie "The Dark Knight Rises" directed by Christopher Nolan is not even out in theaters yet...but that has not stopped people from having very strong opinions about it. SEE: Rotten Tomatoes Suspends Comments on Dark Knight The well known movie review site rottentomatoes.com had to shut down user comments because so many anonymous internet thugs were making heinous, life-threatening comments against film critics who spoke poorly of the upcoming movie. Not that I don't have some sympathy for these "anonymous internet thugs." I have had a beef with film critics ever since Roger Ebert ruined the ending of "Dead Poets Society" for me when I was a kid (his justification was that the ending was predictable, so if you were too stupid to see it coming, it was your own damn problem).
But, the reason I bring this up friends, is yes, sadly... JimmyFungus.com recently was attacked by one of these anonymous internet tough guy bullies, and I nearly had to put in place some kind of comment moderation of my own (I hope I will never have to do this).
I may not be Batman, but using the sophisticated technologies available to me, combined with the fact that the perpetrator apparently has the IQ of a poorly fermented pickle, I was able to pinpoint exactly where the comments had come from in less than 2 minutes.
"BACKTRACED IT"
Despite this supposedly anonymous bully's obvious stupidity, he seems to fancy himself as an "intellectual." For the comments were written in a style of speech one would hear Helena Bonham Carter using on an episode of "Masterpiece Theater", only in this episode of "Masterpiece Theater" Helena Bonham Carter plays a prostitute in one of King Henry VIII's brothels (if that would even be historically accurate, cut me some slack on that), for his comments were laced with obscenities, expletives, and pornographic references. Worse yet, this bumbling buffoon then attempted to impersonate me, again using the anonymous function, and responding to his own idiotic comments, but then signing my name (I have read that talking to yourself makes you smarter, but clearly not in this guy's case). Ok, first of all, my readers are some of the savviest, and most intelligent people on the face of the earth. They know I wouldn't use the anonymous function to reply to comments on my own website. Secondly, they know I don't talk like a member of Fagin's gang from an off Broadway re-adaptation of the musical version of "Oliver Twist", as this drooling dumb ass wrote his comments to sound like.
"YOU'RE BANNED" (via lolz.ar)
So, Mr. Supposedly Anonymous Online Thug..., YOU ARE BANNED...BANNED!!...from JimmyFungus.com for life!!
Also, this knucklehead has been playing the same game on blogs all across the internets, and has probably been doing this for some time. I don't know if it is his lame attempt at trying to be funny, or a round about way of spamming some pornographic websites...but here good sir, allow me to assist you...
Uhh, yeah..so how does one carry on in a world where there are so many naysayers, just ready to fling their smelly, rotten turds at you, for no other reason than for their own stinkin' amusement? How does one live brightly, in a world of darkness? No one knows. No, there is actually someone who knows: Lord Picklejar, (the arch duke of Hell in the service of Satan).
Lord Picklejar: "HAIL SATAN!"
In this video lecture, which is in a series of lectures called "Great Lectures in Evil", Lord Picklejar responds to a contest held by the people who make Sun Chips, in which people send in stories about how they can "live brightly", and then perhaps win a nice prize, but at the same time, change the world for the better...
Watch Lord Picklejar's eyes at the beginning of this video. Wouldn't he be a great boyfriend for Overly Attached Girlfriend girl?? (I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin.)
Bush is Back
I screwed you all... but thanks for blaming it on the black guy. ~ George W. Bush meme
Well, we very seldom hear from former President Bush anymore, because he is trying to stay out of the limelight. In fact the only time we ever do hear from him is if he is feuding with Kanye West, or promoting a new book. So, guess what... George W. Bush has a new book out called "The 4 Percent Solution: Unleashing the Economic Growth America Needs", so he is doing interviews. SEE: George W. Bush: 'Eight Years Was Awesome, And I Was Famous And I Was Powerful'
"Eight years was awesome, and I was famous and I was powerful." George W. Bush in his interview with Peter Robinson
Wellllll, kids... I really try to avoid taking sides on a lot of these political things, because I like to remain an objective investigative journalist, so I will just post what HuffPost user TheKurgan said about it...which I think, pretty well sums it up!
"Getting George W. Bush to expound on the econmy is like asking Napoleon Dynamite to dscover the Higgs Boson," TheKurgan.
"We don't have books anymore. We have Spiderman," George W. Bush. (No, just kidding! He didn't really say that. I don't think.)
Song of the Day
As per usual, we play ourselves out with a song. It's "Goodbye", the last song on Elton John's legendary album "Madman Across the Water", but it's an unusual version of this song. Luckily it was posted by youtube user CrazyWater so we could all hear it...
I'm sorry, I took your time... I am the poem that doesn't rhyme... Once again, thank you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.
For awhile, not a super long time, like about 6 years or so...about the only "mail" or "direct messages" I would ever get at twitter, was the spam mail that started out something like "Hi. This user is posting very bad rumors about you." It has some other variations such as "Hello this user is making up very bad things about you", and "Hi, this person is making up horrible things about you", and "Hi somebody is saying terrible rumors about you", and "This person is making up bad ass crap about you." Well, you get the gist. After receiving this spam for about 90 Gorillion times, I was almost tempted to click on the link out of curiosity to find out what the FUDGE is going on! But instead I found this informative article at Hey This User is Posting Very Bad Rumors About You – Twitter Phishing. Anywho, long story short, it's a phishing scam. So be sure, in a moment of desperation, not to type in your password at whatever site it sends you to. Or if you do, in a moment of desperation, then change your password immediately. Speaking of desperation, that leads us to our next segment...
Mysteries of the Universe Unraveled: Desperation
Feeling lost...my faith crushed, luckily for me, a miracle ocurred.
"SOLVED The Mystery of Life" by Vernon Howard
Unbeknownst to me, the mystery of life had been solved...by a Mr. Vernon Howard. Thank God I came across this book, and youtube video. Somewhat to my consternation, (but thanks to Mr. Howard) I have come to understand that I am desperate...and also, I suck. I didn't realize I was desperate, but apparently I am. Also, I suck for being desperate. Well, anyway, to highlight all this stuff I wanted to give an example of desperation...so here check out this video below of this historic Sugar Ray Leonard vs. Roberto Duran fight with the legendary Howard Cosell calling the action.
...and also I made this demotivational poster.
DESPERATION: Past a certain point there is nothing to do but give up
And now for something completely different...
"Little Room Discussions" starring Nellie Vaughn (and this other girl), and the Sexually Oblivious Rhino
A lot of my news in this post is slightly old, because I was planning on writing this last week, but then OK, I didn't write it last week. So, instead I am writing it now. If you didn't know already, Little Room Discussions is a sexciting interweb podcast hosted by Nellie Vaughn of Buttons are Not Currency, and this other girl. Their podcast is not a weekly show like Mark the Rambling Person's podcast show, which you can always count on to liven up your Thursday. The Little Room Discussions podcast is kind of like a Boxxy, or Dax Flame video, and only comes along once in a great while. So when it does come along, you have to savor it like a finely baked Christmas ham, because there may not be another one for a good long time. The latest show was entitled The Unjoys of Sex, and because of some of the sordid details our hostesses reveal about themselves in this podcast, I fear that neither one of them will ever be able to run for president of the United States now. Ok, well, that's a bit extreme. They will be able to run for president, they will just be what is called "unelectable."
"Little Room Discussions" is hosted by Nellie Vaughn (and this other girl)
Luckily it was also around this time, that I discovered the "sexually oblivious rhino" internet meme,...so I was still able to leave a comment in the comments section.
sexually oblivious rhino: "I'm not familiar with that pokemon." (via twitter.com/rhinosex)
I think the "sexually oblivious rhino" meme, is for the most part self-explanatory. The only thing I was wondering is why couldn't it be the sexually oblivious hippopotamus, or the sexually oblivious aardvark,... or even the sexually oblivious anteater?
Bersercules at the Gates of Hell!
Bersercules has joined the dark side??
I wanted to write about this last week also. In fact Bersercules is so prolific that he has even made 1 (or maybe it's 2 now) new videos at his youtube channel since I have gotten the chance to write this. However, this segment is about Bersercules' video Comic Ads of the 1940s Reviewed by Bersercules.
Captain Tootsie yelling at "Fatso"
Well, there is no point in my chuntering on like an ape. That is Gorrila Bananas job at the The Japing Ape (which is also one of the best websites on all of the internets). Anyway, here is the video for you to watch and enjoy...
Well, kids... that will end our little trek through the blogosphere for today.
Once again, thank you... and please remember to support your local zoo.
