"GET IN THE CAR! No time to explain." meme (starring cat)
Welp, you crazy kids...hold on to your potatoes, because you are about to be taken for quite a ride! I have quite a few exciting things to tell you about, soooo... where can we start? Oh, how about with...THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!
Anywho, you probably have heard about the short film made by Steven Spielberg for the 2013 White House Correspondents Dinner entitled "Obama." (SEE Steven Spielberg's "Obama")
But many of you probably have not heard about the short parody of Steven Spielberg's "Obama" which was made by ME on my very own youtube channel...
"DEAL WITH IT." meme/gif starring the legendary karate kicking Black Belt Jones (and made by me)
So, guess what? You're going to hear about that right now, so... DEAL WITH IT. (Sorry to sound bossy. I had to work in "Deal with it." somehow, or that gif up there wouldn't make much sense.)
Without further ado, I present to you Steven Spielberg's "Obama" PART 2 (ft. Black Belt Jones)...
But that's not all I've been up to either. In collaboration with JimmyFungus.com's very own Chucky C. Chuckles (the self-proclaimed "worst comedian in the world"), we are bringing to you, yet another exciting episode of FOREVER ALONE THEATER...
in the latest episode of FOREVER ALONE THEATER Chucky C. chuckles discusses the short film "Omelette"
Okily dokily, now that you are done watching the entire 2nd episode of FOREVER ALONE THEATER (If you didn't bother to watch it, quite frankly you are dead to me. Kindly show yourself the door.)... you know that Chucky, in his unbounded bitterness, rudely spoiled the ending to Jimmy Tatro's latest video "THAT High Guy."
The Ending of "THAT High Guy"...
To speak frankly, this "unbounded bitterness" is a result of the endless avalanche of senselessly mean, and pointlessly brutal feedback we have been getting from the various peanut galleries at the youtube.
"HATERS GONNA HATE. YES. YES WE WILL" meme starring Joaquin Phoenix of "Gladiator" (found on the internets)
However, I briefly had a pleasant surprise yesterday, as I discovered all of my down votes had somehow magically turned into up votes. It was not some kind of miracle though. The same thing had happened to every video at youtube.
For some reason, it made me feel a little bit better for awhile... but now the problem seems to be fixed, so... yeah... whatever.
Uter Zorker: "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!" animated gif
And as always, I keep trying to help people. I thought that many of you folks out there on the internets were probably saying to yourselves, "Why is it so hard to find a short clip of Uter Zorker, the plump German exchange student on The Simpsons, furiously running from Homer while simultaneously bellowing Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate! ???" Well, thanks to my efforts you can stop asking yourself that question. SEE: "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!" Uter Zorker (The Simpsons)
And finally, I know we haven't had a SONG OF THE DAY for awhile but these two (Lennon and Maisy Stella) are just so good, I had to resurrect this dying segment to tell you about them.
So last, but certainly not least, here are Lennon and Maisy Stella with their cover version of "Ho Hey" (by the Lumineers)...
Once again, God bless you all, and please remember to support your local zoo.
The shocking massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School has become more than a tragedy. It is becoming a microcosm for the central problems at the root of the decline of society as a whole. It seems it took the senseless slaughter of innocents, to bring us this wake up call. Now, it is incumbent on each and every one of us as individuals to ensure that those who died will not be forgotten, but that their memories will live on in our hearts, as an inspiration to create a better and more compassionate world for the children of the future...
It is not very often that you see the leader of the free world near tears, but that expression of emotion was absolutely nescessary to address a nation's grief that was so profound, no words could even come close to begin to speak to it.
the "I CAN'T BEAR IT" bear
And only by emulating the example of fallen heroes, can we move the country, and our world beyond the destructive culture which produces these acts of violence, and re-align ourselves into a community of brothers and sisters who realize we are not only responsible for ourselves, but for each other.
fallen hero Victoria Soto
Only when we all come to this realization, can we then move forward as a civilization, and a world...
Once again, God bless you all,... and thank you for your support.
Selena Gomez flips Justin Bieber the bird? (are jimmies rustled in this pic?)
If you have not heard, on Friday, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez had a meeting regarding their recent breakup that did not go so well. There is even this picture circulating the internets, which looks to some like Selena is showing Justin her middle finger. I did not know what to make of all this, so I sent JimmyFungus.com's roving entertainment reporter, and poet laureate Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves on a mission to get to the bottom of all this insanity. So just watch the video below to see what he came up with...
Barack Obama and McKayla Maroney are not impressed (White House photo)
In other thrilling news, this hilarious pic of Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney, and President Obama is spreading around the internets at light speed like a great cannon ball of fire. It was taken a day or so ago, when President Obama was meeting with members of the U.S.A. Olympic team, and now it belongs to the ages...
Perhaps the Biebs should start dating McKayla Maroney...
McKayla Maroney is not impressed with Justin Bieber?
The most McKayla will do is scowl at him when she is really angry.
And that will ALMOST end our journey, but we will play ourselves out with today's SONG OF THE DAY, which is a cover version of Taylor Swift's "Begin Again" by an up and coming artist Holly Sergeant.
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Ok. kids...let me start by saying a little something about the title of this article: "Advice for Obama's Enemies: Cheer up, goofballs!" I am not calling everyone who supported Romney a goofball. But just bear with me here, and I think once I am finished, you will certainly feel that I was more than justified in using the word "goofball" to describe some of the people I will be discussing in this article.
I think this is surely one of the bigger stories of the day, concerning how there are so many on the Republican side of the aisle who just can not seem to get GET OVER IT (actually I think Shepard Smith is saying "GET OFF IT!" in this gif, but just play along and pretend he is saying "GET OVER IT!"), and accept their election defeat. This kind of perplexes me, as my personal choice for the presidency Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. was crushed, and my reaction was more like, "Ehhh, whatever." But these Republicans, they are so decimated, they are so utterly destroyed about the loss, that there was even enough of this material for someone to make an entire tumblr about it. (SEE: Republican Tears) I was already on top of the story before I even found out about that, but I was not quite aware of just how out of control this grief over Obama's victory actually was.
Ok, I promised to bring you some goofballs, so let's get going with that part of our story, shall we?
This Donald Trump guy... he is a real goof nugget isn't he? I mean, look at these insane tweets he was making as the election was unfolding...
Donald Trump's election day tweets
Apparently this is the first time his entire life, Donald Trump has ever actually watched election coverage, instead of the old Tony Curtis movie playing on channel 9 as the only alternative to the news. During an election, as the returns come in, it often happens that the eventual loser will at some point of the evening have a huge lead (because ALL the votes haven't been counted yet). So, this is what happened on election night, as Romney had a popular vote lead early on, because the returns in many of the red states where he had the largest support were coming in first. Poor Donald apparently didn't have a clue this was what was happening, and thought Romney was winning the popular vote, but somehow losing the election because of the electoral college. So, Trump does what any rational member of the business community would do, and calls for a revolution and overthrow of the government.
cute cat with "invisible bow and arrow"
Technically, to publicly call for a literal overthrow of the federal government is treason, but since Trump's plan was probably to march on Washington along side an army of cats with invisible bows and arrows, the powers that be will probably let it slide this time, on account of temporary (or perhaps lingering) insanity.
Elmo on the potty gif
But, wait! It gets better! Oh my goodness, this Glenn Beck guy is something else. Sorry, he just is. In my blog I try to be nice, and say nice things about people 99.9% of the time... but this Glenn Beck guy.. he is more than out to lunch. WHOA! He is out there in outer space.
Glenn was also calling for revolution, so "the Donald", get your army of cats with invisible bows and arrows ready, because shit just got real!
In the video Glenn Beck's Post-Election Plan, Beck briefly treats us to his Kermit the Frog impersonation, than advises people to "get grandfathered in to the second amendment" and "don't forget the ammunition" (which is, of course, code for telling them to stockpile an arsenal of weapons).
Glenn Beck doing his Chicken Little routine. It's hard to understand how a guy with such great fashion sense could say such horrible stuff, but he does.
In this video below, Beck makes the startling revelation to his followers that the reason his election predictions were so f*cked up, is because he is actually a human, although a SUPER IMPORTANT one (not some poor slob Joe Bagadonuts like us), but still, a human, so he screwed up just this once, I guess. He also says half of Americans are "utterly and completely lost in darkness", and of course, starts crying.
I really don't know what is the deal with Beck and Trump. They are both filthy rich. They are still gonna be filthy rich no matter what happens. Just cheer up, and chill out guys.
But then there are lots of ordinary people out there, the Joe and Josephine Bagadonuts just like you and me, who are also, what shall we say... not taking Obama's victory very well. For example, there is this one lady who's anti-Obama rant has gone viral. Her name evidently is "Shelly", but a lot of people are referring to her as "the terrifying woman", because I mean she really flipped out...really went berserk... Let's just say, once the election results became abundantly clear, the cheese slid clear off her cracker. She posted this video Obama Was Re-Elected - I'm pissed - This ain't pretty. NSFW!!! (Or civilized humans.) on youtube, and let her feelings be known. I can't post it here because it is laced with profanity, and besides Shelly disabled embedding. But what I can post is the response video I made at my very own channel...
Then there is the case of disappointed Romney supporter "DanaPatAlan." I am not calling him a "goofball." He seems like a fairly decent guy... just having very, very disappointed reaction to Obama's victory, as you can see in the video below.
And now...
Presenting and Introducing"The Jimmy Fungus Institute for Advanced Studies (and Also For Learning)"
presenting "The Jimmy Fungus Institute for Advanced Studies (and Also For Learning"")
Apparently, there is one man in America like me, who is a virtual expert at losing, and takes it quite well. That man is former Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr., who instead of crying in the beer of his defeat, is instead doing some good for society, and helping me establish "The Jimmy Fungus Institute for Advanced Studies (and Also For Learning)."
Well, I don't need to tell you anything else about it, because Abraham Fungus Jr.'s speech in the vid below explains everything, so check it out.
At least we were able to end up on a somewhat positive note, right?
Once again, thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Abigael got sick to death of hearing about "Bronco Bamma" and Mitt Romney
So, it came to pass that this little girl became the poster child for the 2012 Election Campaign. (SEE: Tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney) Luckily for her AND us, our long national nightmare is finally over, and there has been yet another peaceful transition of power. Well, NO, actually that is wrong. We are in exactly the same place we were before the major political parties spent a gorillion billion dollars (money that could have been spent on ohh say cancer research, education, 30 trillion pizzas and 900 billion gallons of Dr. Pepper...anything would be better than THIS) on "getting their message out." The House is Republican, and "the Prez" and Senate...Democrats. Exactly where we started from.
Bad Luck Brian
Anywho, our very own JimmyFungus.com endorsed Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. broached a very good idea to me today. Why not introduce a constitutional amendment outlawing the use of ANY money in politics? "The Constitution should provide that each candidate be dropped on a deserted island with nothing but a laptop computer, and a pencil bag full of magic markers to get their message out to the voters. Let them all duke it out in this fashion, and the best man, woman, or transgender person will certainly emerge victorious!" Abraham told me in a private conversation (well, it's not private anymore). Though honesty compels me to report that Abraham Fungus Jr. would probably not excel in such a brutal competition. He even forgot to register to vote, and could not even vote for himself. But as Lord Throckmorton Fungusleaves would say, "That is neither here nor there."
So, it seems that the winner of last night's election is not Bronco Obamma, or even the American people for that matter. The true winner is ME, because I get bragging rights on predicting exactly what was going to happen almost a full 2 months ago. SEE: Obama Will Win: I personally guarantee an election victory for President Obama
Yup, an endless parade of over-paid pundits (Karl Rove, Dick Morris, George F. Will) all wear the dunce cap today, but not the honorable James Earl Fungus I.
It is no wonder so many important people read JimmyFungus.com!
President Obama at the computer
Anyway, I had to make an exciting youtube video celebrating my very awesome, and successful prediction, so please check it out below, because it is also awesome...
Darth Vader for president poster? (I don't know what this is. I found it on the internets.)
There are winners...and there's losers...but that ain't no big deal... as the legendary John Mellencamp once sang.
Darth Vader "Epic Fail" poster (found on the internets)
And there definitely were some losers last night, and those losers are the Republicans, and the Republican party. But cheer up you losers, because I made you your own youtube video too!
It's a compilation of "Best Epic Fails." Check it out below...
Ok. Stay tuned, true believers, because I'll be back soon, with more post-election updates, and coverage of these developing stories.
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
newly invented Donald Trump "HATERS GONNA HATE" meme
Oh my god! Have you heard about what this knucklehead Donald Trump is up to with his latest publicity stunt?? Well, if you have not heard yet, and the title of this exciting new article is not enough to help clue you in, just watch the vid below...(because I am not gonna waste any more of my precious energy trying to explain this nonsense Trump has gotten himself into! Sheesh!)
Yeah, and that was a day or so ago. Donald Trump is still trying to keep the pressure on President Obama, by making smart ass tweets from his twitter account...
Donald Trump makes a smart ass tweet about his $5 million dollar off to Obama via twitter
Anyway, notice Donald Trump's twitter user name is "realDonaldTrump." Which means someone else had at one time taken the user name "DonaldTrump", and well, that poor person is probably rotting in solitary confinement somewhere for stealing Donald's name. (Maybe President Obama should pardon him, to tick off the Donald, huh?)
Needless to say, no sane person in the entire country of the U.S.A., or on earth, for that matter, thinks that what Donald is doing here is legitimate, or a good idea.
I mean...just look at the tweets Donald Trump is getting from his own twitter followers...
negative response to Donald Trump's $5 million offer to President Obama to release his college transcripts
Yes, Trump gets called every name in the book... "megalomaniac", "asshat", "douchecanoe", etc. etc. etc.
Which would be enough to throw the average baboon into a deep depression...
the newly invented "CAN NO LONGER EVEN FEEL ENOUGH... TO HAVE MY JIMMIES RUSTLED" orangutan meme
Not Donald Trump. He keeps chugging along with higher self esteem than even God Himself. WOW. Just wow.
Well, dear ones...that will end our entry today. What do YOU think about this crazy, insane mess?
Once again God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
"Do you like arguing on the internet?" ~ Mitchell and Webb (via geeksquadgangbang.tumblr)
Welcome back, kids. Since yesterday was the very heated Vice Presidential debate, I thought I would do a segment on the very explosive topic "arguing on the internet"... because yesterday, I myself, got into (for the lack of a better word) an "argument" on the internets.
I am not going into a long, tedious, drawn out explanation of what happened... I will just attempt (for the most part) to tell the story in pictures. So here we go:
(Well, there was one positive thing that came about because of this exchange...I invented a new meme, called the "What's the point?" goat!)
the newly invented "What's the point?" goat meme
But WAIT...it gets BETTER!
And with that, I guess I won the "argument", because I have not heard back from this individual.
Well, that is all I have for you today, true believers. Once again, thank you muchly, and please remember to support your local zoo.
I would be journalistically remiss, if I made no effort to supply you with useful information about last night's first presidential debate between Mitt Romney and President Obama, so here we go...
As you know, last night President Barack Obama, and the Republican challenger Mitt Romney faced each other in their first presidential debate of 2012. Okay, let's learn a little bit more...
Mitt Romney really came out swinging, and all the smarty pants pundits are giving him the win, because he was the most aggressive, and kept going after President Obama relentlessly. I do not begrudge him for that. He is behind in the polls...he could not just sit there like a boob the whole night. He had to do something.
But all these pundits and prognosticators who are giving Romney the win are completely wrong. A debate is not a boxing match. So what if Mitt was the more aggressive of the two? The thing everyone is going to remember about this debate is Romney's pointless and foolish attack against America's beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird. To make matters worse, Romney chose to bring up the fact he wants to end funding for PBS on a night when the debate was being moderated by Jim Lehrer... of PBS.
Yeah! Great idea, Mitt! Announce to the whole country, you're gonna pull the rug out from under the lovable Big Bird, who has never done anything to hurt anyone!
"BIGBIRD" @ twitter, tweets to Mitt Romney
Debates like this one are usually remembered for one thing. Reagan said "there you go again", Lloyd Bentsen said "You're no Jack Kennedy", the first President Bush looked at his watch, Al Gore sighed etc. etc. etc.
When a guy running for president of the United States starts talking about Big Bird at a debate, yeah...I think that's what people are going to remember!
So, yeah,...Mitt blew it, ...and to quote the immortal Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that." So that will end a short entry at JimmyFungus.com for today...
the "I WANT MOAR!" cat meme (found on the internets)
Sorry "I WANT MOAR" cat...that's all there is for today. But stay tuned to this Fungus channel because another exciting article will be coming up very soon!
Once again thank you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
Homer Simpson voting in the 2012 election for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney? (via The Simpsons)
Coming up on November whatever is the exciting American presidential election.
And America will attempt to make a decision which will hopefully move the country forward...
George Washington driving a Dodge in "Freedom" World Cup commercial (via lillianjessica.tumblr)
Most of the "experts" in the media have President Obama comfortably leading the challenger Mitt Romney, with his reelection chances looking quite good. Yes, the president is being portrayed as one major badass, and a pretty smooth dude...at least for now.
"Sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate..." President Obama too busy killing Osama bin Laden for FOX news.
You see... all hell broke loose, when a supposedly secretly taped video of Romney characterizing "47%" of the American public, in a way that was...not so nice. His comments are being interpreted by many, including some on his side of the political spectrum, as an indication that he is out of touch...that he views almost half the American people in the same way Mr. Burns on FOX's "The Simpsons" would view them (as boneheaded slackers looking for a handout).
"THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY" meme ~ Ron Burgundy/Will Ferrell
Whether the Romney in the video tape, was the real Mitt Romney, or whether he was just telling some wealthy donors what they wanted to hear, is hard to say. But after the fallout from this vid, Mitt Romney is discovering that "shit happens" even to famous rich guys...
Randy Marsha of "South Park"..."SHIT HAPPENS." (newly invented meme)
So how can Mitt Romney change the course of his campaign at this late stage?
Randy Marsh of "South Park" CHANGE poster (created by an unknown genius)
So, what advice can I, James Earl Fungus I, offer to Republican nominee Mitt Romney (because I know he is wondering what I think)?
If I could go back in a time machine, I would tell him to never say anything in private he would not want to be heard saying in public...
the "STOP SAYING WORDS" llama
But it is too late for that, then isn't it?
So, the questions is...what can be done right NOW?
Well, I think the only hope is for Mitt to somehow miraculously transform his image from an elitist, snobby rich guy, to a laid back, quasi-compassionate, man of the people. Show us he can hob-knob with average Joe Bagadonuts American. Show us he has a sense of humor.
"I HAD FUN ONCE AND IT WAS AWFUL." ~ Mitt Romney version
Mitt needs to let loose and have some fun. Maybe even do something crazy, like let the family dog ride in the front seat of the car, instead of on the roof.
Other than that, I don't know what Mitt Romney can do. He has pretty much screwed himself by opening his big mouth at the fundraiser with those hoighty-toighty rich donors.
Oh well. Now for something, a little bit different...
Also, coming out in November is "Lincoln" directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln. I am really looking forward to this movie, so I figured today, instead of ending with the Song of the Day, we will end with the movie trailer of the day. So without further ado, here it is...
Once again, true believers, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
What are President Obama's chances in real life of being re-elected? Well, pretty good according to the very well respected website fivethirtyeight.com. SEE: The Simple Case for Why Obama Is the Favorite Traditionally, a candidates' support is overrated immediately after their convention. After the Republican convention, Romney was virtually tied in the polls with Obama. If tying the president is an overstatement of the support that actually exists for Romney, it is a fairly dismal possibility that he is going to get over that hump, and overtake the president by election day. Alright, let's learn a little bit more. SEE: Conventions May Put Obama in Front-Runner’s Position Polls are indicating, Obama is getting a bounce from his convention, which will put him in a front-runner position, forcing team Romney, to play catch up vs. a sitting president.
President Obama in real life
Romney, does have one advantage. His side will have more money to work with, thanks to the Citizens United ruling by the Supreme Court. But what really is there, for the Romney supporters to put in a political ad about Obama, that the American people haven't already heard a gorillion times? George W. Bush was able to win close elections by mobilizing his base. However, the true believers of the Republican party are really Christian Evangelicals. They are the ones that went out, and busted their rumps for President Bush. Mitt Romney is not an Evangelical, and has flip flopped on the issues that are most important to them. Paul Ryan might be more their style, but he is not an Evangelical either. Ryan is Catholic, and more famous for his desire to slash social programs, than his stance on social issues. I personally don't see the Evangelical churches working with the same fervor for Romney-Ryan, as they did for Bush-Cheney.
BLAH BLAH BLAH, long story short... President Obama is going to be re-elected. Sorry to ruin the suspense for ya all. (DISCLAIMER: I have not really factored in the effect Independent presidential candidate Abraham Fungus Jr. will have on all this, since the media universally ignores him... Yeah. So, maybe I'm wrong.)
CLONKED MY BONKERS
There is a new craze that has just hit the internets. It is the CLONKED MY BONKERS craze. As far as I can tell...getting your bonkers clonked, is sort of like getting your jimmies rustled. SEE: That Really Rustled My Jimmies: The Complete Collection
Anyway, here are some examples of this exciting new meme...
the THAT REALLY CLONKED MY BONKERS gorilla
the YOU JUST CLONKED MY BONKERS bear
BONKERS STATUS: CLONKED
Well kids, I don't know who is directly responsible for all this bonkers clonking... But as soon as I find out, I will get back to you dear readers, and you will be the first ones to get the scoop on it.
Once again, God bless you, and please remember to support your local zoo.
