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| The Rock driving meme "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" (created by some unknown genius) |
Yup, you guessed it. It's time for another exciting episode of GREATEST SPEECHES EVER...
starring Sarah Silverman
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| Sarah Silverman and the cast of the Sarah Silverman Program |
and the title of this GREAT SPEECH is "The New Milk" from an episode from the second season of the Sarah Silverman Program called "Joan of Arf." To make a long story short, basically Sarah is on trial for bestiality, and needs to give the greatest speech of her life, or she'll be going off to the big house for a very long time...
"I'm not a monster, I'm just a curious eccentric...like Albert Einstein, or Sigmund Freud, or Charles Woolery...
Ladies and gentleman, I appeal to you to think of the first man to ever drink milk from the teat of a cow. I bet he got a lot of flack too. But look at him now... he's a genius, isn't he? Now I didn't drink from my dog's anus,...but who's to say that I couldn't have found the next milk. The next milk could have been in my dog's anus! It turns out it wasn't. If there's an opposite of milk though, I think I may have found that. I challenge you...each and every one of you to go out there, and find the next milk. Whether it be in a cat's ear, or a dolphin's blowhole, or a monster's nose. But if you think it's wrong...if you think the curious should be condemned...well, I'm afraid we'll never find the next milk. And that's sad. I'm done. I'm finished." - Sarah Silverman
and now for something completely different...
I know it's hard to believe, but Abraham Fungus Jr. isn't the only person running for president of the United States of America today. You do have some other options if you are a registered for voting American citizen person. So, without further ado, here are some of the lesser known candidates for the presidency of the United States of America...
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| Lobsterman of the Crustacian Liberation Political Party |
Well, I'm not completely sure that Lobsterman is running again this time around, and I had no idea how to contact Lobsterman to ask him this. Honestly, he looks kind of intimidating, so ok..I was afraid to ask him. Alright. I was too scared to ask him. Ok, are you happy now?
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| ANONYMOUS 2012 |
Once again, we are in danger of being forced to make a choice between 2 candidates, who if elected, are going to do pretty much the same darn things. The major political parties laugh at us, the average citizen, "HAHAHA", as they abuse their power to enrich themselves. How much longer will we sit on our rusty dusties and put up with this?
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| VOTE FOR NOBODY |
Then there is the classic choice "none of the above." If a candidate legally changes their name to "none of the above" or "nobody" they might actually win.
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| Vermin Supreme for President of the United States via gridviper.com |
And then there's this dude...
Part of Vermin Supreme's platform is "zombie preparedness" which shows he at least has enough brains to anticipate our next candidate...
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| Zombie Nixon for president via zombiepresidents.com |
Let's face it, as disastrously as the Nixon presidency ended with the Watergate scandal, "Tricky Dick" still looks like a genius compared to some of the leaders we currently have in charge of our nation. So why not find a way to re-animate his corpse, and put Richard Nixon back in the White House? The Constitution of the United States doesn't specifically prohibit zombie presidencies, so I think this could actually work.
And that leads us to our song of the day...
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| Russian Doll Situation |
After our list of lesser known presidential candidates, I thought it would be fitting to give a chance to a lesser known band called Russian Doll situation with a lesser known song... Yes someone, actually made a song called "Zombie Nixon." Cool, huh? SEE: ZOMBIE NIXON by Russian Doll Situation
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| Richard Nixon "WIN." |
Welpers...that ends yet another intersting, and life enriching post at Funguzz Vizzion aka http://jimmyfungus.com . Once again, God bless you, and thank you for your support.
